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[15 Aug 2004|01:39am] |
okay kids, i got a new journal. So everyone on my friends list, add me:)
this is my new one:
bracletyousport
thanks loves<333
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| hell YEAH daddy |
[03 Aug 2004|01:23pm] |
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Shauna, Janelle, and Me lookin' FUCKIN' gorgeous at the club.
be jealous.<3333 I love you ladies. "DO YOU SELL DONUTS HERE?"
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[02 Aug 2004|01:17pm] |
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[1] First name? Lindsay
[2]Middle name? Anne
[3]Last name?Burleson
[4]Nicknames?Lin,Linds,Linny,Hambone,HB,Lindsay-Bean
[5]Gender? female
[6]Birthday? July 10th,1987
[7]Age? 17!
[8]Sign?Cancer
[9]Single? yea...
[10]Who is the lucky someone? there isn't a lucky someone
[11]Have you ever been in love? yes
[12]Who are your crushes? kyle
[13]Your hair is? blonde,red, and dark brown
[14]Your eyes are? blue
[15]Are you pierced? yea
[16]Any former piercings? ears, belly button
[17]Any wanted piercings? nose(hopefully this week!)and tongue
[18]Any ink? not yet
[19]What ink do you want? a fairy
[20]Are you tall? nope about 5'4"
[21]Weight? 125
[22]Do you smoke? nope
[23]Do your friends? a couple...
[24]Closest friends? Tabitha, Janelle,Shauna and Kim
[25]Best friends? Tabitha, Janelle, Shauna and Kim
[26]Online best friends? um...
[27]Funniest friend? janelle, cause she's so blonde;)
[28]Smartest friend? kim or tabitha
[29]Dumbest friend? street stupid-janelle or tabitha. book stupid-that one goes to me haha
[30]Most outgoing? depends
[31]Shyest? me
[32]Favorite quote? "everything's okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end."
[33]Favorite number? 18
[34]Favorite food? strawberries!!!!
[35]Least Favorite food? anything too fishy..yuck!
[36]Favorite movie? man on the moon, dirty dancing, the body guard, finding nemo, and the little mermaid
[37]Favorite song? back to california-sugarcult
[38]Favorite color? Pink&Black/Orange&Blue
[39]Time of day? Night
[40]Dusk or dawn? dawn
[41]Scent? Armani...mmm mmm good!!!
[42]Type of music? emo
[43]Rap or Hip hop? hip-hop
[44]Punk or metal? punk
[45]Last person kissed? kyle:)
[46]Last hugged? my girls!
[47]Last thing ate? oreos
[48]Last person talked to on phone? my mom:)
[49]Would you trust them with your life? all my friends that were listed above
[50]How long was your longest relationship? 13 months
[51]How long have you been in love? when i was in love it was for 13 months
[52]Bath and Body or Store stuff? store stuff
[53]Sports? cheerleading, hockey and football
[54]Hobbies? horseback riding, dancing, and writing
[55]Turn ons? the hip thingy that's shaped like a V, my girls know what im taking about;) arm tattoos, lip ring,muscular backs!
[56]Turn offs? too many tattoos, smoking, cockiness
[57]What are you wearing? my blue polka dotted bathing suit
[58]Do you like to shop? hell yeah daddy!
[59]What shampoo do you use? Oasis
[60]Body wash? lever 2000
[61]Toothpaste? AIM
[62]What lyrics describe your life right now?
I've been walking around all day thinking
I think I have a problem, I think I think too much
I've been taught to hold back my tears and avoid them
but you've made pain into something I could touch
I've been walking around all day laughing
Think I'd be better off without you here
And I bet you're sweet and hard to get over
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare
Now that's ok, let them stop and stare
Cause I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free
| [63]Do you look like anyone famous? yup, lots of people.
[64]The time is? 1:33 p.m.
[65]What time did you wake up? 9:17
[66]You are listening to? maria mena-fragile
[67]You are thinkin about? him:):):)
[68]You will get married? i hope so
[69]Favorite girl names? felicity
[70]Favorite guy names? seth and preston
[71]Siblings? 3, one sister-19, two brothers-13 and 11, i think.
[72]Name? of what?
[73]Hottest person in your school? it's pembroke, we don't have hot people.
[74]Cell phone? nope, not yet
[75]Memory..Bad..? gettin attacked by my dog
[76]Memory..Good..? haha that christmas i got my water baby..janelle and shauna!:)
[77]Do you like soda? no, but i like pop. ha
[78]What kind..? dr.pepper is my favorite
[79]Are you on a diet? no, buuuuut i should be.
[80]Your last boyfriend was...? shawn
[81]How did it end..? i broke up with him
[82]Do you wear jewelry? yup
[83]What do you wear? a ring and a bow necklace
[84]Ocean or pool? hmmm..id have to say pool cause the ocean has sharks and everyone knows i hate them. but i like the beach, so idk.
[85]Favorite school subject? global
[86]Worst school subject? math!!
[87]How many sleeping hours do you get? depends
[88]Do you get along with your family? yeah
[89]What is your striving job outside of school when graduating? interior designer
[90]Do you swear a lot? kinda
[91]In front of parents? sometimes
[92]Opinion on religion? whatever floats your boat
[93]Since when? since always?
[94]Opinion on government? i could careless
[95]Why? because idk
[96]Where is all your time spent? with janelle or working
[97]Do you like where you live? no!!
[98]Where do you live? near buffalo, new york
[99]Where do you want to move to? somewhere warm
[100]Why? cause its warm
[101]Do people say you are crazy? umm..sure??
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[30 Jul 2004|01:24am] |
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1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5.You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."
12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You played the game "MASH"
17. You wore a Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it
18. L.A. Gear light up shoes
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF." yeaaaaa, karate kid!!!
22. You wanted to be a Goonie.
23. You ever wore flourescent clothing.
24. you can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
26. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
41. You remember Popples.
42."Don't worry, be happy."
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.
44. You wore socks scrunched down.
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK" (with silver buttons buttons buttons all down her back back back..)
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies.
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class.
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - "YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME"
55. You played and or collected "Pogs".
56. You used to pretend that you could transform into a Power Ranger.
57. You remember your first Tamagatchi.
58: You collect BEANIE BABIES!!
59: You had contests with your friends on who could eat the black cherry warhead and keep a straight face
haha I thought everyone would enjoy this. it's too true
<3333
Lindsay
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| the saddest song ever... |
[27 Jul 2004|12:46pm] |
She put him out,
Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.
She broke his heart.
He spent his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away
A little bit at a time.
But he never could get drunk enough
To get her off his mind.
Until the night...
He put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
He finally drank away her memory.
Life is short
But this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees.
We found him with his face down in the pillow.
With a note that says I’ll love her till I die.
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
The rumors flew
But nobody knew How much she blamed herself.
For years and years
She tried to hide the whisky on her breath.
She finally drank her pain away
A little at a time.
But she never could get drunk enough
To get him off her mind
Until the night...
She put the bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away his memory.
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.
We found her with her face down in the pillow.
Clinging to his picture for dear life.
We laid her next to him beneath the willow.
While the angels sang a whisky lullaby.
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[24 Jul 2004|12:39am] |
10th grade: As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.
11th grade: The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.
Senior year: The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said, has not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together-just as 'best friends'. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: "...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me...
'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and i cried.
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[22 Jul 2004|01:37am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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when we kiss-shania twain |
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Boy, I just wanted you to know. I love everything you do to me. I can't even describe the happiness you've brought upon me. Even when you're not around, all I have to do is think of those amazing blue eyes and I get an instant smile.You've got me feelin' a way I never thought I'd be able to feel again. Tell me I'm right to think that there could be nothing better.<3333
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[17 Jul 2004|11:27pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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lean back-fat joe |
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Oh boy, I'm not sure what to do here. This boy has got me thinkin' about him way too much, it's gotta be bad when one person is on you're mind so much. The reason I'm not sure what to do is because this boy, who I smile over constantly is with someone else. Why, does that always seem to be my problem? But I've heard here and there that he doesn't want to be with her, but if that was the case, why are they still together? I understand that it's hard to break up with someone, believe me I've been there.But you shouldn't be telling little girls like me that have fragile heart&easily trusting minds all the things you're tellin' her.I just to stop&slow it down. Take it one step at time, I keep tellin' myself this, yet my head just doesn't want to listen to my heart. It's been hurt way too much to take anymore. So dear boy, please be careful.I'm handing you my heart in hopes that you'll take care of it and not crush it with your sweet talk&beautiful eyes.
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[13 Jul 2004|12:32am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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Ever feel really really lonely?
Well, that's how I felt today.
I don't know why.
I mean,I've been doing
pretty good lately. Then,
everyone that I usually hangout
with was goin' out with their boys.
And it hit me, I don't have anyone.
Not one single person that I can just
call up and ask to come over and watch
movies with or talk. No One. It's the
worst feeling in the world. Yes, I know
I have friends. But, it's just not the
same having that one person who you feel
completely at ease with and can be yourself
around. This is the first time in awhile that
I've had no one like me, sounds conceited, I know.
But it's the truth, I've always had someone who atleast
thought I was worthy enough to spend their time on. But,
not anymore.I spend so much time trying to get that one person
to realize what he's missing and everyone tells me they can't
believe I'm still holding on. I just wish someone would do that
for me. Maybe it's my fault though, since everyone knows that
I do have such strong, continual feelings for this one person, that they feel it'd be a waste of their time. But, I just wish
someone would atleast try. I mean, how do you know until you try? I guess,I'm just not good enough to even waste your time
trying. And I'm not writing this to have people feel bad for me. I just need to get it off my chest. So sorry, if this pisses anyone off, but frankly I don't give a damn, don't read it if it bothers you that much.I just don't know anymore. I just miss it, I miss it all. I miss...I miss, being in love. I miss kissing someone, even hugging someone. It's been forever since I've actually kissed someone and had it mean anything. Uh, I just don't know...
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| IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! |
[11 Jul 2004|12:18am] |
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I'M 17 TODAY!!!!:):)
cashmoney12145: happy b=day!!
kaylee nicole711: happy birthday!!!!!:-D
fantasticTERROR5: Happy Birthday
lilbean268: hope you had a good birthday n night!
RubberDuckie2033: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDSAY ANNE :-D
Hannahaylene: Happy Birthday my Dear:-):-):-):-) Hannahaylene: I looooove youuu.
Dynomite4224: ooooooooooo yes happy birthday to my favoritest person ever :-D:-P
Luckyyou3219: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDSAY I LOVE YOU
TabithaL05: HAPPY BITHDAY TabithaL05: i love you lindsay anne, the bestest most greatest friend in the whoooole world, hope you have a a great day and like the flowers :-P
Daniellie1689ae: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE YOU!!!
SportStudNmore4: yo...even though ur a jerk..happy birthday
notoneforanother: Happpyyyyy birthday
britt 5 30 90: happy birthday lindsey britt 5 30 90: :-) britt 5 30 90: lindsay* britt 5 30 90: lol sry
xTinkerBell924x: hey HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
AnarchyintheOaK: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! :-D
adidasuper: happy birthday lin !!!!!!:-):-):-):-)
LiNdS E LoU 7 7: happy birthday beautiful!!!!!!!!!
nella14fif:happy birthday lindsay.
JulieRudolph27: happy birthday sweetie...love u lots....:-D;-)
Today was a great day!! Thanks to everyone who made it that way:):):):)
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| You'd make a great secret if I could keep you... |
[07 Jul 2004|12:52am] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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music |
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Broken By Amy Lee and Seether |
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I adore all the people who have always been there for me, no matter what.Those are the people that really matter. Thank you for always standing beside me when I needed you the most, you all know who you are.<3333
I talked to him for the first time in awhile, last night. It was nice, I miss seeing him as much as I used to. But I hate going to the place where I would usually see him. Too much shit happens there, I've (we've..right, Janelle)have moved on, haha.
Speaking of Janelle, I miss her :*( I can't wait for this weekend. I get to see her both days:):) Saturday we all have our hair appts. I'm so scared, I hope it looks good. I need a change, then Sunday we are going to a club again, it's gunna be soo much fun. If you want to go, I'll give you details. Just let me know!!
I'm turning 17 in 3 days, YAY! I can finally see R rated movies and I'll be able to drive after 9, once I get my license.
Force a smile
Blink away the tears
I'm supposed to be strong
Supposed to have no fears
But I'm finding it hard not to frown
I'm such a strong person
Why am I breaking down?
<3333LindsAy
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| interesting |
[04 Jul 2004|10:37am] |
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mood |
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music |
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I'm lost without you-Blink 182 |
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Well last night was def one of the more "exciting" nights of my summer.I did something I never thought I'd be able to do. But it was for my best friend so it's all good. But yeah, you're disgusting, no one wanted to see that. And if you were a true "friend" you would of gotten the point, but obviously you're not. So FUCK OFF! BBBUUUUTTT anyway. I got pulled over last night, not cool. Michelle and I were like freaking out, haha too funny. I saw some people I really wish I hadn't, asshole. Then I ever found out some things that really surprised me, people that I know are so shady. I hate it. Having everyone be all over eachother was not cool. It made me want someone that I can't have. I thought about him alot, and how I think I might be gettin' over him. haha, good one, right? Uh I hate this. Summer needs to pick up in the funness real bad. I had alot of good conversations with people last night. I wish I would of hung out with the beautiful Janelle more but I guess it's okay that I didn't lol;):). YUCK, I smell like a fire. I actually didn't get drunk..wahoo! go me! WTF was I thinking not gettin drunk!?! Oh well, no biggie. Alright I've got nothing else to write about, so ttyl.
<3333lindsAy
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| Real Bored. |
[02 Jul 2004|05:01pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Coldplay-what the world needs now |
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1. Name:
2. If there are 3 wells (love, beauty, and creativity) and you can drink from one of them, which would you choose? Love
3. Do you wish on stars? mmhmm
4. What is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten? Sushi
5. Would you kill someone? maaaybe
6. Virgin or not? why is this question always on these?
7. What TV show or movie title best describes your life? FRIENDS
8. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes
9. Who are you jealous of? Janelle
10. Who would you marry? hmmm..we all know this one.
11. What is your favorite lunch meal? Bologna
12. Do you think that the people on the gap commercials are cool? no, annoying is more like it
13. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? yupp
14. Are you a daredevil? depends.
15. How big was the biggest mango you ever had? um..ive never had one
16. Have you ever told a secret that you swore you wouldn't repeat? yeesss..:x
17. Do you pray? nope
18. Have you ever met anyone famous? yea..Lumidee
19. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? no
20. How do you vent anger? listen to music and talk about it with friends
21. Are you trendy? yupp
22. Are you passive or aggressive? depends
23. Who is your idol? my sister
24. Who is your second family? Tabitha's
25. Do you trust others easily? no.
26. What was your favorite toy as a child? my stuffed rabbit
27. What class in school do you think is totally useless? gym
28. What is the punch-line to your favorite joke? dead ant dead ant haha too funny.
29. Do you think your life so far has been good? sometimes yes and sometimes no
30. Which was your best Halloween costume? a little girl..ha tab
31. Have you ever been on radio or television? radio
32. Do you keep a diary? a livejournal
33. Have you ever intentionally hurt another person? no way
34. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? nope
35. Do you feel understood most of the time? eh..
36. Do you drink milk? yes. i love it!
37. Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach? sore throat
38. What is the new saying that you've been using alot? sweet a
39. Do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer or in separate ones? same
40. Did you pay money to see "honey I shrunk the kids"? nope
41. What is your all time favorite song? i dont know.
42. What was the best Christmas present you received? my water baby haha
43. Could you be a vegetarian? noo way
44. What word do you use when you think something is good? hott?
45. What band has the funniest name? hm...ill have to think about this one
46. Would you ever bungee jump? hells yea
47. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? nope
48. Who is your favorite talented white rapper? Vanilla Ice..duh!
49. Would you rather wear uniforms to school? nope
50. Have you ever given money to a bum? um..no.
51. What are you worried about right now? what im goin to do tonight
52. Do you ever wear overalls? yes
53. Do you think you are strong (emotionally)? depends
54. Do you hate anyone? most def.
55. Who is your Best Friend? Tabitha
56. Do you regret anything? no.
57. Who do you love? ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY!:)
58. What is your opinion of the person that sent this to you? no one sent it to me
59. What are you going to do next? dont know.
60. Are you going to send this to everyone you know? no
61. What is your favorite quote? "Love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes just be an illusion"
62. Name 2 people you want to thank for their friendship: Janelle and Tab
63. Have you ever considered a religious vocation? no
64. What's your biggest dream/wish? to have him...
65. What is the one modern thing you could never live without? computer
66. Have you ever done anything illegal? i think so
67. Have you ever thought with another's head? no....
68. Are you friends with the person who sent this to you or you stole this from? no
69. Who do you like better, N'Sync or the Backstreet Boys? thats a tough one..
70. What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guys standing on the sidewalk? um.prolly just keep walking
72. What is the most important lesson you have learned outside of school? you don't always get what you want.
1. What do you regret doing or not doing in your life the most? notihng.
3. What things are you afraid of most? Sharks ahhhh!!!
74. Name the one person whose arms you feel safe in? tab's and not in a gross way, she just always make me feel better:)
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| Infinity. |
[29 Jun 2004|12:11am] |
Hott boys,
Hott girls,
Hott music,
Hott night.
I had an amazing night last night, and I got to spend it with my favorite people; Janelle&Shauna..oh yea and some boys came with us;)It was hott, I love getting felt up by complete strangers and feeling things that really shouldn't be felt. We even have a code, haha too funny. And that one boy is real cute, thanks for being my dance partner;)
I had a very insightful chat with Joel this evening. He told me what I needed to hear, Instead of what I wanted to hear. Thanks for that, you're a great guy and I don't know what I'd do without you.
Fuck you and your untouchable face
and fuck you for existing in the first place
11 days til I'm 17!!!! woot woot:):):)
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| ..... |
[27 Jun 2004|12:19am] |
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mood |
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indescribable |
] |
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music |
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for you-dashboard confessional |
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I'm not sure what to title this entry. It's just one of those spill all my feelings out kind. So here it goes..
I'm scared, I'm terrified actually. That you're not goin to be here anymore..you know who you are. You really don't understand everything you've done in my life and how much you've changed me. I've never been this close with anyone,ever.And to know that I'm lucky enough to have someone care about me as much as I care about them, is something worth waking up for, even when the worst has happened. You truely are the most amazing person I have and will ever know. I understand things are horrible for you right now and I'm so incredibly sorry, I wish I seriously could make it all stop. I wish I could take everything you're feeling and give it to me. Just so I could atleast know you're okay. It's tearing me up inside to know that you sit there and cry everynight, I want to be there, not to tell you it'll be okay, but to cry with you. I know what it's like to not want to be here anymore, belive me..I honestly know, I've tried to not be here anymore.But, it doesn't solve anything at all. Just think of all those people you've seen in the past week sitting at your funeral, remember how sad they were where and when you saw them. Do you really want to cause that pain on them? Didn't think so, because you're not like that.You'd do anything to make other people happy and I love that about you. God, you really don't get it. I don't know how to make you understand what you've done to me.You've made me who I am. All our talks, fights, laughs, tears..they've shaped me to be...me. Thank you so much for every word you've ever spoken to me. I'm writing this to you, so you understand what it is you've done to me. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life and I'm sure there are millions of other people that would agree with me. I love you. Please, always remember that. That's all that I ask.
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| <3333 |
[24 Jun 2004|06:02pm] |
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i read this and it made me think of..well, I'm sure you'll all figure it out...
I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
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| When you're ready to give up, just remember why you held on so long.<3333 |
[21 Jun 2004|02:18pm] |
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I love that me and my best friend have hung out almost everyday this week<3333..but the circumstances that we are hangin out under aren't good. Tab, you know I'll be here always. This weekend was one of the toughest in my life, I hate not knowing how to make people happy and I really couldn't do anything but be there..I hope it was enough.
Some parts of the weekend were fun tho. I mean, I did see my bestest everyday..it just doesn't get much better than that. Saturday we spent the night at her cousin's in Alden and ended up goin to the carnival, that was a slammin' time haha. NOT. That boy was fuckin hott tho, damn! Then we were all excited to go back and drink, but we were so tired that we barely finished one and fell asleep haha..wow we're losers. Then Sunday I went to work, got out at 5 and got ready to go out. We were with two hott boys<3333.Ummm that's about it, I got home around 11 went to bed around 12
had my last test today! woot woot, summer's here;):):)
alright im out.
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| Different. |
[16 Jun 2004|07:07pm] |
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Counting Stars-Sugarcult |
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Well today I took the Math A exam, I think I did okay,well I hope I did okay.Liz picked me up at 3 and we went to Batavia. We stopped by the coffee shop, everyone was there..I was happy to see all them!:)-and Dustin got a special surprise;). I saw that boy and that smile. Uhh, just shoot me already.
The begining of this week..was just,interesting. Adam,I'm really sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I should have been completely honest with you from the start.I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did, with me feeling the way i do and you feelings as strongly as you do. You really are a great guy, but I can't help my feelings and I can't control them either. I'm just not ready to give up on him yet, call me foolish, call me pathetic, call me whatever you'd like. But I just can't ignore my feelings. I'd really like to continuing talking to you, I love it. I'm really sorry for everything...
Counting stars
Wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever meant to hurt you
I only did want I had to.
<3333plus 2..just for you;)
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| The year is over. |
[14 Jun 2004|08:08pm] |
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This entry is goin to be super long. So bare with me.Alright I'm to be talking about my school year in here seeing as how tomorrow is our last day.
First off I'd just like to say, thank god it's over.This year was probably the worst out of all of them.I went through so many ups and downs, it was insane. I went from breaking up with my incredible boyfriend that I was with for a year to feeling like I had no one in the world to turn to. I lost alot of people on the way, not intentionally, of course. It just happened. We tried to do everything possible not to slip away, okay maybe not everything, but we tried, I know that much. And I guess some things just aren't meant to be. I think that's what I've learned the most this year. Sometimes no matter how badly you want something, doesn't mean you're always goin to get it. The biggest change I went through this year was me and my friends. I went through so real weird changes, from not being the real me to finally realizing what I was doing and fixing it to make everything better. I just recently realized how many people I have that care about me and I thank you all for being there for me always. I love our 12th period talks about our weekends. We always have stories, you all know who you are. You girls are beautiful in every way, don't ever let anyone make you think you deserve less than you do, because you deserve the world and plenty more. I love you all so much and I don't know what I would have done without you this year, you've all taught me so much..like sometimes I need to make myself happy before worrying about eveyone else.
To my 12th period ladies:
Janelle~Wow, what to say to you. First off thank you, you've been there for me through some of my toughest times. It was crazy how we just started hanging out and all these bad things happened to us. But it brought us close fast, so I guess there was a positive side to it. I love our bathroom talks and our little walks. I don't know what I would do on my Friday and Saturday nights without you haha, most likely something more creative than the coffee shop. Never forget Tipsy, Brush yo shoulda off, Willy Wonka, Pole dancing..nobody can work a pole like I can work a pole, barely legal,balding,haha sooo many more. You're gorgeous and I love you, thank's for such a memorable year.
Tabitha~You know you're my bestest and always will be. This year was way tough for the both of us, but we made it through and it def. made us stronger. You're always there for me, even when I don't ask you to be. I can't believe you're goin to be a Senior next year and you're goin to leave me,I don't even want to think about it, cause I'll just cry. You're an amazing person and I love everything about you, don't ever change cause I don't think I could handle not having you around. I love all our talks about everything in the world. I've had some of the most great conversations with you and you are always keeping me thinkin after we leave the room. You don't know how much our friendship means to me and I know we will be friends forever and ever. This summer is goin to fuckin awesome, people just betta watch out..cause we're hott and on the move, haha. Jermany or Germany!?! Ahhh he was too cute!! Damn him for living thousands of miles away. "I'm not drunk, I'm drinking!" "I PEED MY PANTS,I PEED MY PANTS!!!" HAHAHA I will NEVER forget that.
Shauna~ I love you,lol. You're such a beautiful person inside and out. Thanks for everything you did for me this year, crying with me and Prom..walking with me to Timmy Ho's. I found out so much about you that night and I'm so glad I did cause it just made me love you even more lol. Always follow you're heart because most of the time it's right, even if at first it doesn't feel like it. Thanks for takin me to the most amazing night of my life,I owe you my life for that. Chris Carrabba is so gorgeous<333 "SO WE CAN GET SOME" ahhh amazing.:)
Kaylee~My love, you're beautiful..I love for wanting me to go with you to the coffee shop that one Sunday, damn him for being him haha. We ALMOST learned how to play chess. Ahh that noise, I'll never forget it. Weird movie, very weird. This summer is gunna be kickin cause I'll see you all the time. At work and when we're hanging out. Please, don't ever change cause you're perfect the way you are.
Kim~Who just sort of sits there and observes 12th period, even tho we end up talking about it anyway later on, haha. I can't believe we are driving now, insane. That's a big step from the banana seat bike, hahah. I will NEVER forget any of the times we had together. You know we'll be friend forever!! So I'm sure we'll have plenty more of those crazy ass(you all got a beautiful site that night..MUAHAHAHA)times. Oh boy, Oh boy..this year was so different for me and you. But we've finally gotten to a point where we're happy, fuck yeah bitches.
Alright I'm sure what else to write, but I just want to let all my friends..the ones I talk to everyday and the ones I haven't talked to in a couple weeks know that I truely love you all and I will always be there for you no matter what.<3333
Let the fuckin summer being ladies and gents.<33333
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| Is it Jermany or Germany?! |
[13 Jun 2004|08:53pm] |
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Along Came Polly |
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Oh boy..I don't even know where to fuckin begin. I thought this weekend was goin to suck cause I was "grounded." But um yeah, def didn't. My Mom actually let me out of the house of Saturday. So Tab, Hannah and I decided to go to D.L.(I know what you're thinkin, but we had reasoning behind it, haha.) So first we went to my house to get stuff, then hannah's and back to tab's. We got ready, arrived at D.L. around 7:30-8ish. Um...we just hung around there for alittle while and it was....words can't describe...Jasper.."awwww he's soooo cute" ::while he gets this huuuge grin on his face:: Sneaking out at 4 in the morning, ahh I love you girls so much. I'm so glad things are better between us all. This summer, ladies and getns you betta fuckin watch out..tabitha, lindsay and hannah are on the prowl, haha. Well I'm out, right more latta.
p.s. I miss Janelle like woah.
we need to talk..about alot, I just don't know how or what to say to you..I'm sorry, but I do still care...I just need time to think about things.
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